5 love languanges – Relationship is two-people job and whoever think that relationship is just a man chasing his dream woman or vice versa, then it is not even worthy to call it as a relationship. Volunteer? Yes! you can call it volunteer. And now if you think that it is your boyfriend/girlfriend job to make you happy or feel loved, it is pretty clear that you are not ready for the real relationship. Look at the first sentence in this paragraph. It is like give and take, but in different perspective. It doesn’t mean that when you give her a glass of milk then you will receive a glass of milk for the return. There is no nominal in relationship but it just work like that.
We can call the give-and-take concept in relationship as the Love Languages. You know that every person on Earth has its different personality. One can be very cheerful and extrovert but in other part of the world, it is hard for someone to mingle with the society since they have introvert personality. So when it comes about Love Languages, it is not about verbal words that we say to the partner. The languages could be expressed in different ways, such as action. So if you kind of person that doesn’t like to have long conversation with others, then you can express your feelings by actions. The point is that our partner receive our message that we are appreciate, love, and also happy with the relationship.
Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of the best-selling book, The Five Love Languages reveals everything about what you should know how to maintain a healthy relationship. These languages are the keys to ensure you understand how to communicate and understand each other in a better way. Here’s what you should know about Five Languages of Love.
Five Languages of Love
#1 : Words of Affirmation
Remember that words matter. It means that whatever that comes out of your mouth will affect your partner’s mood. Like when you were angry with her/him or suddenly you storm out of room while saying the bad word, it will stuck in your partner’s mind forever. It doesn’t matter whether you mean it or not since you can’t control your anger. But the word will be stored in the small part of the brain that gives your partner affirmation that when you were angry, you will say the bad words. With that being said, your partner will think that you have a bad temper.
On the other side, the rule of Words of Affirmation is also apply in a good condition. Like when your partner came home with a bunch of flowers, then you need to say the right words that describe your feelings. A simple word like ‘Thank you, I really like it!’ will give a signal that you feel loved and appreciated. This is where the magic happens because when you can make your partner happy, there’s certain feeling that suddenly makes you feel happy too.
The point is, you need to say more compliments, words of appreciation and try to reduce the harsh words. This is the basic love language that you need to master. Once you did it, everything is easy. So, you must try to give compliments like love quote good morning to make sure this day will be good for her/him.
#2 : Quality Time
It seems pretty easy, but most of people failed in this part. You might think that you gave enough attention to your partner, but the reality is that the amount is never enough. Asking ‘how was your day?’ after he/she came back from work is simple. But don’t forget to create a follow up question or at least give feedbacks if it necessary. So, if you just asked ‘how was your day?’ without even giving more question or feedback, then it is not the quality time that expected.
Dr. Chapman said that quality time means that you need to give your partner undivided attention. Sometimes it means that no TV, no phone, or even no kids. This is the tricky part because you need to spare your time despite you just having a rough day at work or a long trip. But remember that quality time means that it is not just you that gives the attention since you can enjoy the moment and still feel relax.
Now you need to seek the perfect time to have quality time with your partner. It is not always going out for fancy dinner, sometimes, cuddling while sharing thoughts before bedtime is quite romantic. Or you can accompany your partner shopping in the downtown. Just be there and doing things together.
#3 : Receiving Gifts
When you have mastered the Words of Affirmation and given enough attention to your partner, then you need to try the third Love Languages. It is time for you to find the perfect gift to your partner. Gift means that you understand the taste of your partner. It also means that you have effort to make your partner happy by giving them gifts.
And oh, the way you presenting the gifts is also crucial. Sometimes the way you make surprise and the effort you made is what makes your partner feel loved. Maybe it is just flowers, not an expensive watch, but when you give it on the right timing then it would make your partner feel happy. It also a sign that you care and pay attention to the details.
Now, it is your job to find the perfect gifts and think about the perfect time to give it to them. Remember: be unexpected!
#4 : Acts of Service
The fourth Love Language that you need to know is Acts of Service, which means that you need to do something to ease his/her burden. Relax, you don’t need to think about big things because you can start it with small things but matter the most.
Imagine this, it is Sunday and you know your partner have been through a rough day this weekend. If he/she wants to have ‘Me Time’, then let them have it. Now you can do chores to ease the burden. You can walk the dog, do the dishes, or take out the kids to the park. It means so much for them since they can relax for a while without having to worry because you handle everything.
#5 : Physical Touch
For old couple, they know that the relationship is not as romantic as it was. Everything has changed. But remember that relationship is two-people job that need to work together. Sometimes when we focus on another thing, we tend to forget to maintain the relationship. When your partner is busy with their jobs then it is your turn to keep the relationship on the track.
You can try to hold his/her hands on public, giving them massage on the neck, or just hug your partner right after they came home from work. The physical touch will ignite the love that has been forgotten for a while. Let them know that even though they are busy with their life, there’s still someone that will give them love endlessly. Physical touch is direct communication to express love.
Those Love Languages will help you to maintain your relationship last longer. It is okay if you can’t do those 5 things at once, but at least you can do one of them every week to keep the love sparks.
Lets share the love!